~Right now on the Call Your Girlfriend podcast they’re doing a Summer of Friendship series where they dive into a lot of the aspects of their book. She speaks mostly in terms of how we think of our public spaces and our time, but this book shows that it’s also true of friendships, and in Big Friendships in particular.

There can and should be joy and value in maintaining things, not just in producing new things. This book reminded me of Jenny Odell’s “ How to Do Nothing” in the way that it emphasizes what Odell calls an ethics of care and maintenance. Why the narrative that if friendships are easy they are good and if they are ever hard they are bad. An entire book putting into words why we can and should take friendships seriously.

One of my favorite parts about this book is honestly just the fact that it exists. it’s advanced age commands respect and predicts its ability to last far into the future” And almost always, a Big Friendship is mature. A Big Friendship is reciprocal, with both parties feeling worthy of each other and willing to give themselves in generous ways. It is large in dimension, affecting most aspects of each persons life. They define Big Friendship as “a bond of great strength, force, and significance that transcends life phases, geography, and emotional shifts. They discuss interracial friendships, long distance friendships and the operating principles of their friendship like Shine Theory and the Friendweb. And I’m so grateful for an entire book that explores these ideas through Ann and Aminatou’s friendship.Īnn and Amintaou dive into the beginnings of their friendship, the times when they each had to stretch for each other for various reasons, as well as when their friendship that they thought was too big to fail, began to fail. But things do change, and you do have to decide how each friendship is going to navigate that change. And I never wanted any of my friendships to change. I never wanted to be the person who got in a relationship and forgot about all of their friends. I’ve always thought of myself as someone who puts her friends first. We can choose to keep them active, to keep investing in them” Just as we can choose to leave our friendships unattended and hope they stay warm, we can also choose to elevate our most important friendships to a status equal to marriage, family, and career. “We give relationships meaning by the amount of attention and work we put into them. Whether you’ve been a fan of the podcast for years or you’ve never heard of it (fix that) I think so many people will find value in this book.

I’ve been listening to Call Your Girlfriend for years now and was so thrilled forAminatou and Ann’s book Big Friendship.

Big friendship ann friedman